While possibly a tad OTT on creative freedom, the moniker is not far off. This is heaven on Earth for the cake, pastry and coffee aficionado. Not only is coffee and edible accessories delivered to perfection, the framing of their excellent work is always pleasing to the eye and sometimes even giggle inducing. For example, I couldn’t help laughing when I saw their Ninja Slice cake. “A mind blowing experience”, as one (presumably!) happy customer put it.

Conveniently located just a coffee mug throw away from the excellent lunch pub The Kings Arms, this is a must visit after your meal. Get one of their marvellous double espressos and walk around the corner to the park behind the church opposite the IMAX and enjoy a few peaceful moments of pondering the better qualities of life. Such as sitting in a park in Waterloo with an excellent cup of coffee, pondering the better qualities of life.

Failing that, you could always think about the quote on the church wall:

All may have, if they dare try, a glorious life or grave.

That line is from a poem by George Herbert, one of this country’s greatest religious poets. Look it up, it is called “The Church Porch”. Print it, bring it to the park. Well worth a read and a ponder.

Only drawback of Konditor & Cook is that it draws more people in than cameras at a G20 rally. Persevere though, you deserve that relaxing moment in the park.

Once you make the decision to step inside, passing through the small front room with the takeaway hole in the wall, the impression isn’t changing much. Minty green walls and plastic tables? Well, it has character (photo of visiting celebrities on the wall, check) and it looks neat, clean and tidy… Did we come to the right place? Yes, you did. Which you will be totally convinced of as your food is served and you take the first bite. Undoubtedly they dish out some of the best fish and chips you can find in London.

Servings are big, batter is golden and crispy, fish is flaky fresh (delivered from Billingsgate every day) and chips are crunchy on the outside with a velvety, soft goodness inside. Served with pickled gherkin and onion, this is indeed a feast for kings. Oh, and they always start you off with a small plate with three prawns on it, delicious peeled on a buttered piece of bread.

They serve other food as well, like pies, burgers, salads and soups, but it is all about the fish. Order the Superbite or the Masters Special. And do try the calamari, they are divine.

Food served is salads, full English breakfast all day, pastas and various types of sandwiches (you can compose your own from their tasty fillings on offer or pick a ready made one from the counter) on decent bread. They also serve various types of snacks, cake and other nibblies as you would expect from a cafe style diner.

Typically we don’t eat here a lot, since it is too close to our office and sandwiches are as you might guess a bit frowned upon, but here is a recommendation: order the warm piri piri chicken on a toasted poppy seed bagel with lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes. No butter, no mayo, no cheese. Just top it off with some salt and pepper. Best bagel around Waterloo, honest.

Word of warning though, don’t get your coffee here. Just up the road you find Smålands Coffee where you can get really good coffee while bantering with the Swedish girls working there. Nothing much wrong with the Caffe Quattro coffee, but the coffee at Smålands just is that much better.

Smålands Coffee is run by Eva, an energetic woman who makes up for her short stature with a great personality and an even greater smile. As the name implies (Småland is a region in Sweden) you can find Swedish treats, sandwiches and references here served by Swedish speaking Swedish girls who will fill you up with amazingly tasty caffeine while providing excellent banter.

You read right, this is a sandwich shop. So why are they on here, the critical reader may ask. Well, as I see it, this site is not really about having a cooked meal every lunch. Most important is to get away from the office and the computer and have a relaxing lunch hour. Talking to the girls at Smålands Coffee while getting a fantastic coffee and a sandwich with Swedish meatballs and beetroot salad (the Viking, a must try) will certainly put a smile on your face and spring in your step.

So get tooled up and then either have a seat at the chairs outside the shop, or if you prefer a view different from the traffic on York Road cross the street and go into the Jubilee Gardens and dine in style under the cyclopic stare of the London Eye.

If you are looking for some of the best coffee in south London, nay, make that all of London, consider your quest over. This is it. You have stumbled upon a scooter workshop cum cafe extraordinaire by public demand. All thanks to their Italian 1957 Faema espresso machine and Craig O’Dwyer, the very well travelled owner and scooter connoisseur.

There is a story behind this place that is as fascinating as the cafe is cosy. Which means in the upper levels of “incredibly”. Craig O’Dwyer is originally from New Zealand. Many years ago he started travelling to and fro from Italy to London, collecting old Vespas and Lambrettas, pieces of furniture and coffee machines while at the same time becoming fluent in Italian. Combining all his passions together, he set up the coffee shop as we see it today on Lower Marsh.

You will still see several of his machines in the store, alongside memorabilia, press clippings and artifacts of days gone collected on his travels. Some would maybe call what they see as they step through the door rubbish, to me it is like stepping through a time portal. If you are looking for spare parts or scooter accessories, don’t come here though. In that case you are better off visiting their workshop Scooterworks on Enid Street, Bermondsey.

Foodwise they sell cakes, hot chocolate (ask to have it dusted with nutmeg, yum!) and delicious coffee, bought from a company called Londinium just outside London and ground at Scoottercaffe. As you can see in the comments below, even the decaf is bought as beans and ground in the shop which provides for great decaf coffee.

They are licensed, so you can also get Irish coffees and hot toddies. If that is not your poison of choice, there is a good shelf of alcohol as well as French cider, Suffolk Ale and Mexican and Italian beer. Throughout the winter months they serve mulled wine and hot spiced apple all day and evening.

You are allowed to bring your own food, so why not bring a food pack and take a quick detour over lunch to Italy. Or why not go for lunch at the nearby thai restaurant and finish with a coffee here?

Unfortunately the place is closed on Sundays, or this would be a great hang out with a good book. Preferrably while it is raining heavily outside.

UPDATE: The kind people at Scootercaffe also emailed me this – “We do hire the basement for private functions where we have a second little bar with cocktails. There is live music every Tuesday and Wednesday night and yes, we are still closed Sundays where upon we sleep solidly for 12 hours.”

Suggested by Wendy, thank you very much!